And finally maybe NOW is meant to be the moment. Welcome back!
Ok, I am doing fine, so so, I guess, just like that only, bah... Final year in uni, many mixed feelings. I am so excited and looking forward to the future career life, yet I am bored about the current thesis project. At the same time I still feel like being a student forever. Am a lagger? I thought I am quite motivated? by? pucha.
So happened to meet lcw today and had a coffee+dinner time together. We chatted for damn long. OMG. From career to all shocked/gossips even taboos. Too much information to process. Or maybe i shall just choose not to process at all and drop all info to the recycle bin. Our circle is too small. Once words spread, everyone knows about it. You still feel good about yourself? You just don't know people see you differently already. So the lesson learnt is to keep the mouth zipped always and be careful with even your closest person. We always gossip about others, but we don't realise that we are the ones being gossiped as well. What can be shared and what cannot be shared, dun be the joke 2.
Back to career. The "xueba"ers sent 70-80 resumes plus already. Luckily he shared some of his valuable experience to me which is absolutely good for me. What do i expect from myself then? Happily happily feel good about myself? After talking to the "xueba", i feel like the literal frog down in the well. hehe. I was trying hard to get some common topic with "xueba" k?
"xueba"i mean lcw. ok, he may a good guy, he is ambitious, smart or mature and handsome maybe. but i feel while he was criticising about others, i started to feel if he was really as nice as he stated about himself to be? who knows? no one would tell you a secret and said he purposely did that right? of course he would say how he trusted you and he felt you were the right person to talk to. anws, no harm for me to know all those. And i got to think over on my issue with cc. yes, my long endless never-ending emotional inertia (hope that i spell this physics term correctly) . i duno, i am thinking about it. I really need to give up my very very little almost impossible hope that he will like me back.
HE WON'T.
END of the story.
though, 你存在我深深的脑海里。
i will come back more regularly i guess.